Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
