I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
