dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
