can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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