i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
