This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
