Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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