what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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