where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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