how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
