So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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