The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
