I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
