Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
