it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
