4 words: hood of his car
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
