you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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