I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
