Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
