I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Less talking, more tequila
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
