i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
