My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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