It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
