His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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