i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Semen is not good for contacts.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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