Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am one with the molecules
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
