Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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