Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
