look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
