We won't sleep together?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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