in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
