How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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