I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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