$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
