she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
