I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Randomize
