I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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