so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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