i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
