So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
