It's Friday. Sex?
Someone shit on the floor
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
