this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
