I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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