Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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