Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
