Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was CRYING into my vagina
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
