Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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