Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
