I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
