Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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