You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
