Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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